


Through the door

by scriptingSouls



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, I love Seven but I don't like how MC is handling herself in his route, It takes place after the last VM of day 8, WARNING: mentions of suicide, and I'm too frustrated so this abomination came out, basically I don't like the options, it's somewhat canon divergent, she makes no sense to me, so friendly warning, somewhat angsty, this might not be for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 08:31:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8526082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scriptingSouls/pseuds/scriptingSouls
Summary: MC never gets to speak her mind, but when Seven leaves the apartment somehow the words won't stop pouring out. She ends up revealing a bit too much, even if he might not be listening.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ok brief explanation of this short lil monster.  
> I'm really frustrated with Seven's route, haven't finished it yet so I shouldn't be writing but I needed to get this off my chest so this came out and might as well post it.  
> This is a matter of personal taste, but to me, I don't like how passive MC is being, she seems quite inconsistently dumb at times. And given how she has no backstory because she's not supposed to, it makes no sense TO ME for her to just be that way.  
> Maybe she's just a masochist, which is fine, but not what I'd like, so because I'm crazy and I need to make sense of even a game where you have to suspend disbelief (which I was fine doing in other routes because I thought MC was consistent and more believable as the nice generous anti-Rika/true-Rika girl she's supposed to be) I tried to give sense to what would motivate MC to be so nice/calm/put up with Seven's icy words and still keep swooning for him rejection after rejection while at the same time, not really doing much (well that we get to "see" anyway) 
> 
> TL;DR: So this is me filling the blanks of MC’s back story and motives, and also making it a bit sad and depressing, yet hopeful... kinda? slightly possibly changing the canon.

 

 

 

 

“Are you still going to be like this to me?” She whispered to the echo of the door slamming shut.

The answer was, of course, silence. The day an empty room learned to talk would be the day… well maybe it would be the day Seven opened up.

She sighed and flopped down on the bed face up.

“I don’t know if you really think I’m as dumb and naïve as you say, or if it’s just part of your tsundere act… so much for gap moe huh?” She half smiled. He was already at the hallway as he had promised he’d be for the rest of her waking hours, so it wasn’t like he was going to hear her anyway.

Maybe that was for the best.

 “Well I’m not that naïve” She retorted, she had wanted to earlier, but nothing good would have come out if she just started a war with him, he was busy fighting several ones with himself already.

“You said so yourself, you want to push me away because you think you’re too dangerous to be involved with. So how can you think I believe this harsh cold version of you to be the real you? Even if it’s more real than the cheerful troll master from the chat rooms, it’s still not the real you. A person has many sides to them and I know there’s a lot more to you, so don’t think you are succeeding at fooling me”

What was the right thing to do? What did she have to do or say to help Seven?

For all the appreciation she constantly received from the RFA, there was little to justify it. She had done nothing so far.

When he first showed that new side of him, that distant side, her first instinct was to do a recon mission and just wait it out, study him, think of the best approach strategy and give him space.

She really thought that would be the wisest decision, she still did, but then why did she feel so hurt when he called her out on her idiocy, maybe because she agreed? Why did it feel like it had gotten them nowhere yet?

It was pointless talking to the thin air, she hadn’t expected the words to pour out like that, but now that they had, she wanted to continue, she needed to.

“Don’t think you have me all figured out just yet Seven” She closed her eyes; something inside her was pounding, desperate to get out. “Do you even know why I agreed to come here in the first place? You think I’m just a good naïve girl who didn’t realize how dangerous it was to go to an address a stranger sent her? Input some numbers and break into someone’s house? I should be offended…. Is that the type of girls you like?” She snorted a bit.

It was dangerous, if there was any chance he could hear her she should stop right away before…

“I had my own reasons you know, to not care about safety. You’ve been feeling guilty and responsible for putting me in a situation I put myself into, how is it your fault? When I chose to gamble my life away long before I even met you?” The pounding sped up, a knot strangling her, she needed to, she wanted to…

“I… I’ve never been a religious person. I’m curious of what that’s like, always has been. Maybe that’s one of the things that made me more curious about you. Luciel, you have the name of an angel, something about it just… feels right” Her cheeks flared up, she was being too honest.  “But I wanted to give it a shot, before… I made a decision from which there was no turning back from...” Fear took over her; every inch of her body tingled in warning, telling her to stop, to keep quiet. Her heart was about to pierce through her chest, it was the fastest it had beaten in a long time, faster than when Seven’s brother had tried to take her away. Funny how opening up could be so hard. Could she even blame Seven if she wasn’t able to overcome her own fear? Her own shame? She had to, even if he was not listening and it was for naught, she had to especially if he was not listening. If she couldn’t say it to a wall, how could she ever say it at all?

“I wanted to die”

Her heart beat slowed down as she let out the deepest breath. How can something as simple as uttering four words feel like such a remedy?

“I was at a rooftop, looking at the city, weighting my options, when I decided I should leave it up to fate. If there was a higher power, if I had a purpose in this life, I shouldn’t forsake it. I wanted to be… helpful, I wanted to do something good, find some meaning. I just couldn’t before, for some reason… So… alone, in that rooftop, I downloaded a messenger app, the first that popped in the search. I thought, if I can meet just one person, have one conversation that doesn’t seem completely frivolous and empty, if I can connect somehow, then it will be the sign I need” She smiled at how silly she sounded “Maybe I truly was naïve”

“Unknown, your brother, was the answer to my first and only prayer. To go to an address to meet the owner of a lost phone, he said it was important because he had a religion that said he had to help people. It felt connected somehow, to what I was looking for, so I kept listening instead of just going by my natural instincts. I knew the chances of it being something benign were slim. When a stranger asks you to go to a random address, the first thought you get is my organs will be sold in the black market the next day, and that's already being optimistic. But even that was better than just… jumping. So I thought, if I go there, and it doesn’t turn out to be a something bad, when all the odds are against me, then that would be the best sign I could ask for. There was nothing for me to lose anyway. So… here I am” _Here we are_

“I don’t regret it, the RFA… sounds something straight out of fiction, something so… different to my everyday uneventful life. But it was right what I had asked for. Suddenly I had five complete strangers talking to me every day, being nice to me, worrying about my health about whether I was sleeping and eating well. They had no reason to trust me, and yet they did, so I trusted them too. Why not? I had nothing to lose… but some to gain” She took her phone in her hands and slid her fingers through the screen affectionately; it was the reason why she felt so warm where there had only been emptiness before.

“I wanted to be helpful to you, I wanted to make the party happen again so everyone could be happy. I was touched by how all of you, while being so different, shared the same desire. I could feel how much it meant to all of you. To be able to make the party happen was, still is, an honor to me” Something else was building up inside her now. She could feel the sting in her eyes. It had been so long since she cried. She had wanted to so many times but she had been dry, now however, she wanted to fight it. The thought of the party not happening though…

“You think you’re the only one who feels he's letting everyone down? I might have only been here for a few days, but this means more to me than you all could imagine... I’m not calmed about the bomb and the secrets because I’m a brave trusting person; I don’t care about that. I’m not worried about my safety, if I did, I would have never even come here. I’m worried about everything being ruined though, I’m worried about me being the reason everything is so complicated right now. I’m worried about you…” She bit down her lip hard, she had to finish this. She didn’t even know why she had to anymore but she did.

“You are being chased by your agency because of me, and you want me to not worry? To not care? Well I don’t care, I don’t care about your past or what you’ve had to do, I’m sure you had reasons, I’m sure your brother probably has a lot to do with those reasons. And even if your reasons aren’t good enough, I can only judge you for who you’ve been to me, to everyone in the RFA and no matter how much you try to make yourself be the bad guy, it’s not what you are to me… it’s as simple as that… Luciel” It started to dawn on her that she wasn’t scared that he was listening to all of that… she was scared that he wasn’t.

“I was alone before, I’m not alone now, so I’m not afraid. If you want me to be alone again… I won’t fight that, but I don’t want you to be alone like I was, so I WILL fight _that!_  " She felt a surge of emotions taking over her, suddenly she had courage, courage she didn't know where it came from "I do like you but I don’t expect you to jump in a relationship with me just because of that… of course I can’t get rid of my feelings, but that is my problem not yours. I just want to help you, whatever it takes, how dangerous it might be, I want to finish what I started, I want… I want to help you unravel all of this, be by your side when you rescue your brother, because I have hope, for the first time in a long time… I have hope" The courage was short lived, she could feel it flickering like a candle flame, but she needed to say one more thing before it went dark again "So please… stop pushing me away”

That was as far as she could go. She couldn’t hold it anymore, she chocked on the words that wouldn’t come. She turned to her side and hugged the pillow.

He hadn’t listened to a word she said. It had all been useless, nothing had changed, he was miles away and she still had no means to reach him.

All she could do was keep doing what she had been doing, withstand and wait.

And hope…

 

On the other side of her door, Seven’s head rested.

He had heard every word.


End file.
